Self Dependence Has a Three Ingredient Recipe
All about you
As we grow up, we are often dependent on our parents and sometimes older siblings, but that dependence gradually fades away until we are left to face the harsh reality of the world. Sometimes, we are well armed for such a transition, and sometimes, it hits us like a truck.
In any case, it is wise to be self-dependent because, in the end, you are the only person you can count on. So, it is important to know the ingredients of self-dependence. The recipe for self-dependence is financial, physical, and mental health.
The Recipe for Self Dependence
Financial health
The moment you don’t have enough money to support yourself is the moment you become dependent on others. You ask a friend or family member for a handout or try to get a loan from a bank. You have to work on your finances to avoid ending up in such shambles.
Although banks usually operate on compound interest, banks are an easier resort when it comes to your reputation. Your social circle, even if it’s only the person who loaned you, would know that you were in a financial rut, and that moment will be marked down in history even if you become a billionaire.
Furthermore, the moment you asked someone you know for a loan could haunt you forever in a way that would make your financial future hindered by the past. Whenever you see your friend Bartholomew, you remember how you would’ve been evicted if it wasn’t for him.
For starters, increase how much you make, and decrease how much you spend. It may sound like common sense, but are you actually applying it? Create a spreadsheet to calculate your earnings versus your spending, and taper your lifestyle accordingly from there.
Physical health
Those who are physically healthy do not need others’ help to do things they can otherwise do alone or be rescued in times of illness. If you do end up getting sick, get in the habit of treating yourself.
Otherwise, there’s no shame in making a trip to the doctor. If you have an emergency situation with your tooth, it’s practically impossible to learn dentistry in time to health that tooth, so you might as well go to an expert.
Financial health kicks in yet again. If you don’t have an emergency fund for health problems, you might have to ask others for help. You may even ask others for help doing simple things like moving furniture. That’s if you lifted weights irresponsibly at the gym and hurt your back.
The moral of the story is to take preventative measures to avoid coming across problems that need others’ help, especially if money is involved. Exercise safely, eat healthy, sleep well, and check-in yearly with the doctor. Don’t neglect your social life and other aspects as well as they comprise health too.
Mental health
There’s no problem with consulting a friend here and there about a problem in your life, but making a habit out of breaking down into tears over the phone with your friend whenever drama occurs is not a sign of self-dependence.
First, there are experts who are willing to listen and give you constructive feedback without you having to come out to people you know about your problems. There are also meds, of course, which I don’t necessarily condone, but do whatever works for you.
Otherwise, your problems may not have reached the extent of psychological issues, but you may be struggling at work or with your relationships and feel like venting. This is when journaling and self-therapy come in.
Get in the habit of journaling daily, writing about the good and the bad. Also, you can talk to yourself in the mirror almost like you’re your own therapist. If the idea seems awkward to you, simply try it once, sleep over it, and see if you like it the next day.
You may quickly realize that most of the satisfaction that came from venting to your friends is because of the part when you talked, not when they listened or gave feedback. Again, you can talk to friends about your life in moderation, but don’t let that exceed the boundaries of self-dependence.
There’s no shame in asking for help if you truly can’t help yourself. Some people are simply specialized in areas you cannot become specialized in at record speed to help yourself. You may also find yourself slipping and asking help from others when you could’ve helped yourself.
Just don’t make a habit out of asking others for help without exhausting all the resources you have to be so self-dependent that others’ help becomes a bonus instead of the foundation through which your life progresses.
